RIP, MJ

Am not much of a TV person and when I do indulge some I channel surf a bit and gravitate towards CNBC. So Friday morning is when I read about the King of Pop on this online network that I’m part of. Naturally, I was shocked; a sense of personal loss almost as if someone I’d known well had died. Well, in a way we all did know him, didn’t we?

He marks a time in my life. A time when none of our parties with school friends were complete without some of his numbers. In fact, MJ spent some happy years in our house along with Madonna, George Michael and a few others, in collages of course. At that time, perhaps, we were too young to even completely understand the lyrics of their songs. But we’d rush to buy cassettes. I think that’s all we ever spent our pocket money on - music, posters, and books. And, when a little older, we started recording music videos that played on MTV.

Reading recent reports about his debilitating health because of his addiction to narcotic painkillers is, well, quite horrific. Why do people with such enormous talent and potential go weird, I wonder? No one moon walked better.:( What a mess he ended up making of his life - What an entertainer, great fame, huge amounts of money, the many plastic surgeries, conversion to Islam, 2 marriages, children – nothing seemed to give him the happiness he was always searching for. Sad indeed!

Despite all the controversies, he will live in people's hearts forever. RIP MJ.

Got to love hypocrisy!

Because I’m writing this post, it is to be assumed I’m above average and never never never the one to indulge in a sneaky hypocritical moment. ;) Never sneakily.. always openly ;) After all, hypocrisy is supposed to be self-elevating and not self-deprecating. ;) just kidding..

First, something on the weight issue that Ayesha wanted me to write about. Well, I won’t be surprised if the saying ‘Beauty is Skin Deep’ gets slotted as an illusory concept in the years to come.

And, why am I not surprised, Ayesha, that somebody could tell you ‘Oh this is the only time you can be fat and yet look beautiful!' when you were pregnant.

After all, we live in a world where a whole industry thrives on mere ‘looks’. Absence of a brain poses no hindrance and is sometimes only desirable. People associated seem to be making a hell of lot of money.

And then, how we look is supposed to be directly proportional to how we feel. If our not being size zero or anywhere close to it isn’t denting our self-confidence naturally, there are a lot of people we meet in social circles who are happy to help. So what if it is completely unsolicited?

Ok, on Facebook I had uploaded pictures clicked with some friends that I met with for lunch a couple of weeks back. Well, let’s just say we’re all a couple of months of rigorous exercise away from being our ideal body weight. Obviously, because we had a great time, the pictures revealed so. Now, this guy, who’s known to all of us from another network, thought it his responsibility to make a few .. er.. vicious comments. I’d reckon he’s in his late 40s. Some discretion was expected because people above 20 are expected to have a reasonably developed brain. When none of us responded to his first comment, it didn’t ring a bell for him. He made a couple more just for good measure. He also tried to elicit a response from another common friend while he was at it. Why stop at anything? How could he let a chance pass by to appear stupid? None of us responded to him and I guess he got tired and went away. Anyway, I'm just so amazed at the little value people ascribe to goodness of heart, self confidence, grace, poise, and style which for some shines through from neath the layers and for some is just missing despite the lack of layers. Recall value..hmmm?

Anyway, that’s just one. What causes even more amazement is when smokers, alcoholics, adulterers offer advice or just make cheap digs. Well, cancer, high blood pressure, heart disease are only mild side effects of smoking, doing drugs, and excessive drinking, aren’t they? Adultery has its own sack cloth and ashes since stress became a killer. But then, it takes a generous heart to advice while they puff away at yet another cigarette or pour themselves the nth large peg of rum/whiskey. So what if they regularly guzzle every intoxicating fluid known to man? Perhaps, they’ve volunteered for some research being conducted. Got to love hypocrisy!

A couple of weeks back I accompanied Karen to this orphanage run by the missionaries of charity. Karen had a whole lot of baby stuff to give away in addition to cash. Now, this place houses children from the age 1 day to 6 years. We had to wait a few minutes before their official meeting hours so I sat chatting with the nun there while Karen followed her baby out to the play area.

I was told they had 72 kids living there at that time of which 32 were under a year old. That’s a lot of very young children. :( Naturally, I was curious to know how the orphanage authorities admit new children. The nun very patiently described the entire process to me. Most children, she said, were given up by unwed mothers who cannot bring shame upon their families by keeping the child at home. This can’t be easy I said and just wondered aloud as to why they don’t abort? Religion forbids, I was told rather strictly.

So per their interpretation of religon - while having sex before marriage is not permissible but can be condoned; abortions are not permitted. Social chaos at its best!

I could not get one child’s face out my head. About a year old, standing in his cot, he caught hold of my hand. If strangers can feel the pain, what must those women go through? How can such hypocrisy be excused? Go figure!

We're like that only!

Nah, this isn’t another post dissing techies who roger English believing their technical expertise is redemptive. Nonsense! They’re doing the tech world a big favor by being able to ‘communicate’ despite not being native speakers of the language. At least, they’re not resorting to sign language.

Yeah, so this post isn’t about dispassion, so read on. :D

The financial services company that I work for was bought out by another last year making the merged entity one of the biggest conglomerates. To facilitate and lead the merger, an American boss (Let’s call him B here), part of the leadership team, has been in India with his family for about 2 years now.

We had a party a few weeks back to celebrate the merger. While going down in the elevator to the venue, Beena and I bumped into B and a few others from the leadership team. Seemingly, they were discussing some presentation they were to make. My jaw nearly dropped when the B interjected in accented Hindi - Presentation kiske sath? (With whom do you have to make the presentation?)

Some more jaw dropping happened when B came on stage and greeted us all first in Marathi ‘Kasa kay Bombay’ (How are you doing, Bombayites) and then proceeded to make his speech in Hindi. A small skit followed the presentations and speeches; essentially dialogues interspersed with Hindi film songs. Most people from the senior leadership participated in these dance-a-minute kind of sequences. B did too, dancing as passionately as the others, the way you move when you actually understand the lyrics. By then, he had the audience completely enthralled. People were shouting - 'Once more.. once more' to which he came back on stage asking 'Gana gana..hmmm.. ek baar phir.. hmmm.. Jai Ho?' (Do you want us to dance on Jai Ho again?)

A few days back, we had a few ‘Get to know your company’ sessions conducted by him. As part of the session, the audience was divided into teams and asked to present a value each of the company. One such team chose to talk about ‘Winning’, which really implies creating win-win situations for the organization as also the customers. Perhaps, they hadn’t understood the complete import of this value. They titled their presentation - ‘Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar’ (Quite literally means ‘The winner takes it all’!). So, not quite appropriate! To our great surprise, B was able to spot this crimp. To begin explaining to the team, he wrote the title, ‘Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar’, on a white board in Hindi script. That left us gaping in awe!

Some more jaw dropping happened when he corrected misspelled words. He knows the nuances of the Hindi script - when to use a 'choti ee' ki matra versus a 'badi ee' ki matra .. 'aadha na' versus 'chandrama bindu'. If for a minute, post his party speech, people would’ve thought ‘Wow! good show.. speech would’ve been rehearsed, writing in Hindi was way too impromptu and could only be done by someone who’d actually learned the language from scratch.

I’m obviously impressed insane amounts.

Many learn new languages some of you may think. Yes, many do. At least those that want to make a difference.

But not some techies. That breed is hired solely for their technical skills. So what if most such people have studied in English medium schools; started learning English from age 3 years and have had it as a compulsory subject till at least they’re in grade ten, age 15 years. So what if they still have wonky language skills and are unable to string words to form grammatically correct sentences? So what if their pronunciations are replete with regional influences?

What to do.. We’re like that only!

Facebooking and Life Beyond!

I’m getting tired of Facebook, especially because of the men it’s been pimping of late. Is there no concept of quality and criteria filtering on such sites? Aarrrggh! You ‘ignore’ them and they send another request.

The problem is not so much about receiving friendship requests. Random idiots who send out these requests are it. Are intelligent men with unconventional thinking, a sense of humor listening? ;)

More specifically - Among these random idiots is a fellow I’d met in some random party a couple of years back. I ignored the request he sent.

So, in a few days he sent another this time with a message reminding me where we’d met.

‘I’m sorry I can’t quite recall; we’d have barely exchanged a few words there. Good luck with networking’ is what I wrote back.

He thought it was his beholden duty to jog my memory so there was another message with some more about the party. Talk about hard times!

I’ve now figured if I don’t click ‘Ignore’ people can’t resend requests. hah haha *wicked laugh*

I can’t seem to use the term friend ‘loosely’. My bad! Like in case of the party fellow, if there was some friendship-like spark wouldn’t we have spoken for longer at the party and perhaps exchanged numbers?

Like all things else, Facebooking cannot be all bad. I was able to reconnect with some long, lost friends.

In the process though, I added a few acquaintances too.

Now, I realize some are type I haven’t exchanged a word with in like months. They’re just hogging space in my universe. I wouldn’t even have realized our lack of communication or their being in existence had it not been for the Newsfeed section that generously provides updates on each one’s life. Ugh!

I get updates about the flirty, debauched, boring messages people send out to others and I can really care less.

There are constant status updates from some. Friends need hour by hour updates on what’s going on in one’s life and how one is feeling -

Today is sunny; Not so sunny with gusty winds.. ah bliss!
Er wait.... is raining now; Oooo... awesome weather!; It’s flooding.. ugh!;
I splurged; I’m broke!
I puked, I’m acidic;
I farted in the boardroom.. silent but deadly!

The effect of reading all this is akin to gorging on junk food. No value. :(

Can’t blame Facebook for the time I spend on it though, can I? I had joined last year or was it 2 years back on the same day as a whole lot of colleagues out of sheer boredom. We had NOTHING better to do that particular day. I don’t know if it was because we were feeling terribly wasted not having flung any sheep at people or because we hadn’t passed around any virtual drinks, or just feeling left out. Existential compulsions I tell you!

Oh wait a minute.. got to dash .. someone just updated their status on Facebook!

If you understand me, you have to agree with me ;)

We were having two really interesting discussions on this online social network that I’m part of. People’s opinions were majorly divided. And, frustrating it can be when you’re trying to sell your point to others so they see merit in what you’re saying.. so their thinking aligns with your’s. Seldom happens and our win-win is normally achieved with ‘agreeing to disagree’.

No one gives up easily though. :D

After a particularly desperate attempt to convince, a friend ended his bit with ‘I have nothing more to add’ and included this quote at the bottom of his post - ‘Its very difficult to open a closed mind.’ - Akbarali Jetha (Reflections)
No prizes for guessing, I had to rile him up. And, I did – ‘When people don't agree with what one opines, it is easy to pronounce that they have a closed mind. Wouldn't this assumption also mean limited perception?’ ;);)

Hee haaaw!!

We have you all figured out!

Recently, in conversation a friend shared how one of her other friends had said something inappropriate about her (don’t know what) in a public forum, more like group e-mail, methinks. While we didn’t get into what was actually said, I could sense she was a fair bit disappointed that the friend had been irresponsible but chose to sweep the matter under the carpet. Perhaps, she believes it was a one-off thing, something she doesn’t necessarily have to take personally and should best ignore. Fair enough!

However, her follow-up comment caused me to snigger. She assumed that had I been in her place, I’d have responded, and that she doesn’t think it warranted that much attention. To me her comment reeked of ‘I’m superior because I chose to not respond’. Whoa! This is like doing someone a huge favor - first assuming how someone else will respond and then also judging them for what one thinks they’d choose to do.

Although I felt patronized, I let it pass. Such ‘pronouncements’ don’t disturb my sense of calm but they truly amaze me. :/ I wonder how people make such conclusive statements about others. What could be their motivation? Eludes me! Help! ;);)

Can we really know people well enough to assume their role in imaginary, hypothetical situations to predict their behavior? Maybe the years of association, frequency of contact matters but as important is the fact that we as people are changing all the time, every minute. Sometimes, my own responses surprise me.

And, why do people restrict others to the narrow realm of their perceptions, judgment, and thinking? And, if that weren’t enough, another thing commonly heard is – ‘Oh, but you chose so and so thing 6 months back or that such and such was your preferred response then. That was then, you’d think if you’ve moved on. But, people have taken notes. Ki korbo? (What to do?)

Kerala House

Had awesome, yummmmm malyali food at this place called Kerala House last weekend. I've no pictures of the dessert, ada payasam, (thick flat noodles cooked in date jaggery and milk with dessicated cocunut sprinkled on top)which was just brilliant.


While I was waiting for friends to get there, I clicked pictures of all these awesome paintings. Take a look!




Our playboy God - Krishna

At play again :)